update 3

after my checkup earlier this month, my doc still doesn't want to proclaim me fully cured of hyperthyroidism so am still on the same medication and dosage. that and the reminder to exercise now that my ft3, ft4 and tsh have remained normal for five months now counting from august. have five months really passed that quick? wow. started medication only in may and it's now december, with my levels constantly within normal range. since august. double wow. i am not sure how long others with the condition took to respond to medication and be in remission from it but i'm guessing a bit longer. the usual treatment for this is 12-18 months. come my next checkup though, doc is  confident that he could lower the dosage once again before pronouncing me a graduate (his word) from hyperthyroidism. ohhh i hope so!

i've eaten my fair share of seafood and all the dairy i want but i guess eating and cooking healthy has somewhat become a lifestyle (especially when it comes to dairy, i hardly have seafood as it is). a good change, of course!

sunday currently vol. 32

reading: just finished reading dunkirk crescendo (book 9 of the zion covenant series) and have started finally on book 7, london refrain. in fairness even if i've read the series in this order: 1, 2, 6, 4, 5, 8, 9, and now 7. looks like i'll be finding book 3 (munich signature) next year.

writing: this and... another fanfiction which i can't seem to finish. boo.

listening to: a jazz playlist on spotify, with God bless the child by sonny rollins currently on.

thinking: about too many things as usual.

smelling: nothing.

wishing: for something.

wearing: sleepwear

loving: i don't know anymore. lol.

wanting: to sell all my books. to get away. peace and quiet. silence.

needing: see above.  

feeling: the usual melancholy mood that the christmas season brings about.  



thanks to siddathornton for this great idea. 

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ohhhhhh a major throwback song. can't believe i still remember most of the dance steps to this one. so much love for this. click here!!! 

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after five years, the awesome christina perri will finally be releasing a new album in january 2019 called songs for carmella, an album of songs and lullabies dedicated to her superduper cute and adorable daughter carmella. that teaser for the new album last week got me hooked and oh my goodness i sooooooo love the song christina wrote for her daughter entitled you mean the whole wide world to me. click play!

of pain and other ramblings.

been no stranger to the ice pack/hot compress since last weekend. the previous saturday saw my arnis training partner accidentally hit the joints on my pointer and middle fingers on two separate practices. not a surprise when the coach puts two beginners together, the other being a kid. a week after, the joints still hurt.

last friday was a holiday. so i went with a group of friends to play badminton. despite having reviewed the footwork and smashing techniques with the trainer a friend has graciously hired to teach us, i still tripped over my right foot while playing and actually twisted it. i thought i was going to sprain it or worse, break my foot or ankle. i was more scared of the possibility that i might not be able to walk than my pride getting bruised because of the embarrassing fall. a little ice and a little hot compress afterwards, i am walking again quite normally. still feel some pain but thank God it has minimised already.

=====================

having socialised for three days this past week got me bushed. that is in part with waking up at 4.30 each morning. but no matter, because it has been a loooooooooong time since i actually went out with friends. i'm also glad that i was able to have a great catch-up session with a friend whom i haven't seen for months. good thing it was a long weekend. the sort of bad thing is that i really didn't get the chance to catch up on sleep. and when i do sleep, it's the usual 5 to 6 hour range only. sometimes i even wake before the alarm. now that's just sad. the only time that i really got to sleep for at least 7 hours is when i'm not feeling well. and i've had enough of being sick this year, thank you very much. i really would like to have a normal 8-hour sleep with no reasons why i had to sleep for that long.

=====================

finally reading dunkirk crescendo, the ninth and last book in the zion covenant series by bodie and brock thoene. i am now in the midst of world war 2 in europe where the nazis were already slamming into luxembourg, belgium, and then france. well this means i really have to get book 3 (munich signature) and book 7 (london refrain), where i suspect that josephine marlow, one of the central characters in book 9 and in paris encore, first appeared. what's good about this series is that even if i haven't read the books in their proper order, any info about the characters in a book one hasn't read yet are also added into the next.

and speaking of books, i am itching to get my hands on two: reawakened: a once upon a time tale and long road to mercy by none other than david baldacci. the book version of the pilot episode of ouat is hard to find in the metro so i am not too hopeful i'll find it anywhere in the near future. but as for long road to mercy, i'm glad that i've found one in one of the bookstores already. hopefully i could find a hardbound copy. that would be my christmas gift for myself. been following all the teasers for that book in the previous months. so excited to read about a new strong character, atlee pine. from her physical description she reminds me a lot of michelle maxwell, the partner of sean king in david baldacci's king and maxwell series. atlee pine's story of course is way different, and yes i am so itching to get my own copy already to read all about it.

not exactly a book review.

so i finally finished welcome to the world, baby girl! as with all great books, there came a tug at the heart as i reached the last page. at first i hadn't paid much mind to this book when i saw a reader's digest condensed books volume that contains that title. but i bought the actual book many years after since it was in that enticing buy one, take one deals in the bookshop i frequent. however, it remained unread for some years before i actually opened it, what it being buried underneath the ever-growing pile of unread books. and then i stopped after the first couple of chapters until it got buried underneath the pile again. i only went back to it after having recently made an inventory of all my books. meaning, i have classified them into three groups: sell, keep, and read.

welcome to the world, baby girl! was slow reading for me at the first few chapters, even with a good beginning that used simple statements describing a small town and the people in it. much like an old person telling a story that happened the past but had a lot of segues in it that you just want that person to get to the point. when the puzzle pieces of the character relations and the timeline fell into place though, there was no putting the book down for this old girl.

the book is a good combination of small-town charm, the mystery behind dena nordstrom's nomadic early life, and the fast-paced, fast-changing world of television broadcasting in the 1970s. dena is one heck of a character whose early life defined a part of who she was until a series of events finally led her back home. i like how the story is hilarious, serious, and sad at turns.

enjoyable, captivating, entertaining, rich, and intriguing. these are just some of the words that several reviews said about welcome to the world, baby girl! and i agree with all of these. and i say this because while i have more good words to say about this book, my mind is short-circuiting with lack of sleep or maybe my body has gotten used to sleeping earlier than my usual bedtime of past midnight (might ramble about that soon). so please forgive this old girl for not gushing more about this book.

one thing's for sure, though. welcome to the world, baby girl! stays in the keep pile. 

how's the weather? and other brain farts.

The photo above was taken about a week ago. I just love how that shattering hue of blue is enhanced with the plants and lamppost in it. No one else would know just by looking at that picture that it was taken during a really cool morning, because it might as well have been taken during the summer anyway. But I just love that shade as to me it signifies that the amihan season in the Philippines has begun.  

Along with the changes in season come the seasonal photos posted by my friends on social media as well who are scattered around the world. I have several friends who have already shared their own photos about snow in September (Canada), how it is snowing just now in their area (some other temperate areas in the northern hemisphere), while some are enjoying springtime (Australia and New Zealand) in the last quarter of the year. Now, winter has always held some magical mystery for me as it is the only season that I have never experienced yet. What's it like to experience snow? What does it actually look and feel like? How long until I get sick of it? Will I get sick of it?

Having lived in a tropical island for most of my life, I have always wondered all of those things. The closest thing to experiencing a wintry weather was when I went to the States in the springtime. That really felt like I was in a freezer. Funny cos  a relative from Michigan who was also in California at that time mentioned how it was warmer there. In a swarm of people who cavorted about wearing shorts and shirts, I was the only one bundled in a thick jacket, wearing two shirts, and still shivering from what I guess was a balmy 60s or so. Ha.

So yeah. If that springtime weather felt like winter, what more if I went somewhere right now where it's actually winter? Complete with snow and the windchill factor. Yikes.

There is a running joke here in the Philippines when one talks about the weather. When a foreigner asks a Filipino about the weather, the Filipino replies, "We have two kinds of weather here: hot and hotter." That couldn't have been more accurate. If it's not raining, it's hot. If the humidity is really high, good luck, cos it means rain but only after suffering under such sweltering heat first. Summer is the last stretch of the country's dry season in the Philippines. Visitors will survive hanging out in malls during the day if they're not lounging in some island soaking up the sun and splashing about in azure waters.

If I get to be asked which season is my favourite, I'd say the dry season, which has started in late October. People here in my country can now enjoy drier yet cooler weather again brought about by the northeast monsoon which we call amihan. So while winter and playing in the snow are still light years away from becoming a reality for me, I am content snuggling under furry blankets wearing jammies in this cool weather. Hot cocoa in the mornings or the chillier evenings is in order too. 

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Commuting in Metro Manila is not for the faint-hearted. One should be physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared for what is in store when battling it out with the masses of people for a choice seat in any of the available public transportation. Rush hour is the thing of the past, which can be easily and sadly, painfully felt at this time of the year since Christmas is fast approaching. Minutes matter to those marching off to work in the morning because leaving the house just a few minutes later can spell horrendous traffic and difficulty in getting on a bus, train, or jeepney. People who drive their own cars don't fare well either. 

Which is why the hapless hordes can just be thankful for small mercies. In my experience, that would be the bus lane, the P2P (point-to-point) buses, being able to find a seat the moment I get on the bus, so on and so forth. Because if I focus on the fact that I have to allot two and a half freaking hours' worth of travel time each day instead of maybe just thirty minutes or so in an ideal world (and so much more, to be honest), I'd go raving mad. 

But really. Working at home now is the way to go. Leaving the house only when necessary is fine.

======================

I'll end this drivel with something more substantial. My Long Forgotten Cloistered Sleep is another excellent work of the musical enchantress Yuki Kajiura and sung by one of her singing groups called FictionJunction. It was a nice surprise to see that Wakana and Keiko of Kalafina are also part of it. There are two other singers in FictionJunction who I'm not familiar with yet as this is the first time I've listened to this group's songs.

The song is also the first English song composed by Ms. Kajiura that I've listened to. I love the medieval-like melody of this song which is characteristic of most of Ms. Kajiura's compositions. Good thing there's a live version of it which showcases her on the keyboards and FictionJunction at the vocals.  

Hit play and enjoy!  

sunday currently vol. 31

reading: just finished reading paris encore, the 8th book of the zion covenant series. ww2 has started heating up! but i need to read the 7th book which i don't have yet. ha. guess i'll have to start with the 9th and the last in the series, dunkirk crescendo.

writing: this and... another fanfiction. hohohohoho

listening to: nothing but i can hear the dialogues in kingsman 2.

thinking: about too many things as usual.

smelling: nothing.

wishing: on a star

wearing: checkered shirt and... the ever-present cycling shorts. nyahaha

loving: still emma swan, snow white and prince charming. ha. they're such a sticky-sweet-fluffy family that gives out all the feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels lol

wanting: to sell all my books.

needing: alam na ni Lord yun.  

feeling: happy that there's no more ban on the food i could eat. also feel like i'm gonna barf due to the things that stack up each day. useless. 



thanks to siddathornton for this great idea.

update 2

"Unusual, but not........................ impossible."

Said my doctor once more on my last visit two weeks ago. But that hesitation to say the word impossible was pronounced compared to the first time he said it because there was none at all then. And how could he not say those words in that manner? For surprisingly my ft3 and ft4 levels have actually gone down by a few points again but thankfully still within the normal range. Any lower and he might diagnose me with hypothyroidism this time, which I hope will not happen.

Another cause for that hesitation is that the normal treatment time for hyperthyroidism is from 12-18 months, and I have only been on medication for five. I guess that was really a fast recovery. A miracle. So much so that I can now EAT WHATEVER I WANT WITHOUT RESTRICTIONS AT ALL and yeah I am yelling that out here on the www I'm so giddy yay lol.

Of course that doesn't mean that I won't continue with the healthy cookery and healthy eating that I've started. That and constant exercise to maintain my present weight because yeah now it's all about the weight again. psh.

lss: muppet babies opening theme

was doing some mindless channel-surfing one day in search for something worthwhile to watch. in the nanosecond that i clicked over to the next channel, the music and schedule from the previous one made me backtrack. the channel i skipped was disney junior, and it was showing the new muppet babies show that time.

funny how seeing a reboot of a show could bring back so many childhood memories of spending (philippine) summer vacations in the states, specifically those balmy afternoons spent watching the original muppet babies in my aunt's house. while i don't remember which channel i watched it and what episodes there were, i do remember always waiting for 3pm on weekdays to watch it whenever we didn't go anywhere. i even remember arguing with my cousin one time because she wanted to see some afternoon talk show. don't blame my kid self; i just had to have my muppet babies fix!

however, the one thing i remember best from the show is the opening theme, which has a '50s/'60s sound to it. i always looked forward to listening to it when 3pm rolled along. i thought it was a special treat since there were always back-to-back episodes everyday, which meant i could listen to the song twice, or four times each day if i count the ending credits. 

funny how even then i already have an affinity for the oldies, even when applied in a cartoon theme.

here's a video of both the 1985 and 2018 muppet babies opening themes. i think the new version is awesome too! 

update

"it's highly unusual, but not impossible."

those were the very words that my endocrinologist told me on my latest check-up a couple of weeks ago. honestly i didn't know how to react to that statement, but i am thankful that my t3, t4, and tsh levels have remained within normal levels since the check-up in august.

i actually thought he was going to proclaim me fully hyperthyroidism-free, but he told me to continue with the remaining medication until the next month's check-up just to be on the safe side. the same dietary restrictions are upheld as well. the good news however is that i am allowed now to have seafood and dairy occasionally. and because of that, i finally ate a slice of cheese pizza from snr. woohoo!

my weight has gone back to my flying days weight, maybe even lower since the blazer i wore recently (which was a part of my first flying uniform) hung a little loose. my appetite has definitely come back with a vengeance, although i guess my eating habits have changed ever since the restrictions were on full force. don't think i can let each day pass without drinking at least 10 glasses of water. veggies are pretty much a big part of my diet now, although meat still comes first. this girl's gotta have her burgers and sausages, yo! i haven't had any seafood yet since the latest check-up except for that one time when i ate pad thai not knowing that there was shrimp in it. but all is good in that regard. i still make my own peanut butter, but now i eat it with store-bought bread. i'm just so glad that i could now eat anything without feeling guilty.

my strength has kept up with my activities; i don't feel weak anymore when i walk fast which is good. same thing goes for arnis. the first few saturdays that i was back the coach kept asking me if i was all right and thank God i was, still am. won't be joining the competition after all, though. my health comes first.

praise God from whom all blessings flow.

======================

this weekend won't be complete without a playlist. i made this one years ago on a now-defunct music streaming website and i named it dramatic duets. i have a reason for it which nobody will ever know and no it's not just because these are sung by two people. ha. can't believe the songs are nearing a decade old!

up - james morrison feat. jessie j
terrified - katharine mcphee feat. zachary levi
need you now - lady antebellum
two is better than one - boys like girls (with taylor swift)

sunday currently vol. 30

reading: none again but just finished shopgirl by steve martin. a very nice read. profound in its simplicity.

writing: this.

listening to: don't leave me alone by david guetta feat. anne-marie

thinking: about many things it will take too much time and in each passing minute the day is a minute closer to crossing over to the next.

smelling: nothing. have a cold that's been at it for several days now.

wishing: on a christmas night lol

wearing: sleepwear. cos i am about to sleep anytime soon.

loving: emma swan, snow white and prince charming. ha.

wanting: the same thing.

needing: same as the last time.  

feeling: more sure in the decisions i'll be making in the next few days. 


thanks to siddathornton for this great idea.

sunday currently vol.29

reading: the cosy christmas chocolate shop by caroline roberts. first time to buy a new book in months and the reason is to pass the time while waiting for my photos to be printed. i had other choices but i got this one because three words: cosy, christmas, chocolate. a very light and enjoyable read that i'm bound to finish tonight. oh and i'm also still reading fanfiction of ouat. found that i'm partial to the fics about the charming family. there are a lot of good ones out there.

writing: this. and another fanfic but i think that will take quite some time to finish.

listening to: nothing

thinking: about many things: 1. job opportunities at hand, 2. what to do with the problem at work, and 3. also what the coach told me yesterday at arnis training. which is to join two competitions at an upcoming sports event. i dunno how to feel about this. i should be nervous but i'm not. i think i should be excited about this as well but strangely i'm not, considering i have been actually toying with the idea of joining at least one (the one which does not require sparring) since june. didn't think i would have the opportunity since i was told by one of the older guys in our team that there's an age limit for the competitions. but... here it is. and it's not just in one competition, but two! the coach asked/suggested/told me to join the padded sticks and anyo (form) competitions. i think i really want to join. now the question is, how could i practise both in a month's time with being able to go to training only once a week?

smelling: nothing.

wishing: on a christmas night lol

wearing: sleepwear. cos i am about to sleep anytime soon. but maybe i will watch another ep of ouat.  haha!

loving: once upon a time. this is one of the shows that i've always felt that i should watch from the beginning compared to, say, grey's anatomy and law and order: svu, which i was comfortable starting in the season currently showing on tv. this is because of the complicated family relations and such in ouat which confused me some by just reading articles about it. the numerous ships in the show didn't help one bit too lol. at any rate, i am now in season 3 and i'm so enjoying it! i just love the premise of the show as well as the family dynamic, i think it's brilliant. and sooooo glad for the hundreds of clips on youtube because i just love spoilers. but spoilers or not, seeing the full episodes still tugs at the heart especially those that concern the charming family. guess it's obvious who my fave characters in ouat are lolol

wanting: the same thing.

needing: to talk to some people. it feels like years since i've really had a heart-to-heart with any of my two friends. actually it's only been a month but still.   

feeling: tangled in a lot of emotions that i don't know what to feel. ha. drama. 
 
thanks to siddathornton for this great idea.

weekend playlist: dido, carly rae jepsen, tennis

this past week has been a gold mine for awesome sounds yet again. these three songs have enjoyed a constant loop throughout.

dido: go dreaming
go dreaming is one of the tracks in dido's fourth studio album, girl who got away. i enjoyed listening to this song a lot. it (as do the other songs from this album) has this beat that makes one want to groove. suffice it to say that the musical style used in this album makes it really different from the songs from no angel. sad to say that girl who got away is the only album of dido's that i haven't gotten my hands on yet. which is why go dreaming goes on to my 2018 playlist and not 2013 as it should have been.



carly rae jepsen: cut to the feeling
this is a song that i only heard on the radio a few times (around three i think) yet it caught my ear each time. unfortunately i haven't been listening that much to mainstream music lately so the title and the singer of this song escaped me for a long time. until i heard this song again this week and i finally told myself i'll listen carefully this time to catch the lyrics (i was in a supermarket and the general noise level made it difficult to do so). i then searched "i wanna cut to the feeling" on google and voila! that sense of fulfillment and satisfaction upon finally learning the title and who sang it was immense.



tennis: origins
the second song from that awesome tv series once upon a time that caught my ears. origins was used at the welcome home party for mary margaret scene. at first i thought it was an oldies song but when i googled it, i found out that origins is a song from this millennium. this is also the first time i am introduced to tennis, a husband-and-wife tandem that has been in the US indie music scene since 2010.




just hit play!

weekend playlist: sam cooke

so i got the nth warning text from the ndrrmc due to the torrential rains brought about by the combo of the southwest monsoon and tropical depression. accuweather reports 26 degrees celsius tonite. photos and videos of flooded areas are shared all over fb all day. endless traffic in several districts. in a nutshell, it's just another regular stormy day in the metro, with everyone trying to cope the best they could.

===================

the nippy weather is no match for the warm fuzzies that's been raging in my heart lately however, thanks to sam cooke. in truth, the only song of his that i've listened to was you send me many years ago. the song made it into my ever-updating golden oldies playlist as i thought it was the sweetest sound i've ever heard. still do; it invokes lovely images of '50s and '60s soda fountains and diners, jukeboxes, poodle and balloon skirts, and such. i also think it's a good song to slow dance to, so...



twistin' the night away:
it was a fanfic i read recently that, well, brought me to this particular song of sam cooke's since it was mentioned there. i loved how it was written into the story. and because i'm such a sucker for oldies, i just had to search for it, and what do you know, i fell in love with it. so much so that i now sing and play it on my uke. 



(i love you) for sentimental reasons:
now this song i first heard in the movie the parent trap, where linda ronstadt's version was used in the yacht dinner scene. it's another romantic song worthy of a slow dance. then my heart did a million flips when i listened to sam cooke's version of it. sounds very much like you send me, with too many 'i love you's' and 'loving' for comfort. but it was sung oh, so, smoothly, like warm cream over whiskey. was actually lulled to sleep the other night listening to it. with a goofy grin, of all things.



y'all know already what to do with those play buttons on the vids, yeah? enjoy!

gosh all this rain is turning my brain to mush. just sayin'. good night!

lss: chega de ficar by aaron bingle

never thought i'd say something like this, but what the hey. once upon a time brought me here. ha.

this song was used at the pilot episode scene where emma entered the restaurant to meet her blind date. the first few beats of this song totally got me right away so of course, i just had to search for the title and artist. it was perfect for setting the scene before there was any interaction between emma and ryan. i thought also that it suited the restaurant's atmosphere really well. it reminds me of the upscale malls here in metro manila that play tunes like this. if i didn't know any better i might have heard this song already.

just hit play!

music video: her morning elegance by oren lavie

this video is such a joy to watch.


lyrics:

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case

Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And she fights for her life as she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain as it pours
And she fights for her life as she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught by a thread
She pays for the bread and she goes

Nobody knows

Sun been down for days
A winter melody she plays
The thunder makes her contemplate
She hears a noise behind the gate
Perhaps a letter with a dove
Perhaps a stranger she could love

And she fights for her life as she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain as it pours
And she fights for her life as she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught by a thread
She pays for the bread and she goes

Nobody knows
Nobody knows

And she fights for her life as she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain as it pours
And she fights for her life as she goes in a store
Where the people are pleasantly strange
And counting the change as she goes

Nobody knows
Nobody knows

Nobody knows

weekend randoms

rain is the name of the game for two weeks now. don't mind it at all. in fact, i get annoyed a bit when the sun dared poked its head out when the weather forecast said it's going to rain for so-and-so days. i'm like, come on weather, be consistent! if it should rain, just rain even if it's on and off. let the sun shine when all the monsoons and typhoons get blown away. so far there's another tropical depression hanging around the country's area of responsibility so yeah looks like a good part of the northern region will remain damp and dank, the metro included. 
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didn't get much me time this weekend. the weather was perfect for a stay-in but no, had to go out. i guess it was for the better anyway since i'm mostly cooped up at home working.
----------------------
so i got a new review for a fairly new fanfic i wrote. haha. fairly new since i posted it earlier this month. there is another multi-chapter fic i published not long after that. reviews get me giddy and glad when they reflect what i am trying to convey in those stories. not everyone knows that i dabble in fanfiction, just a few trusted friends who i invite to read the stories i write from time to time. writing fanfiction is just my way of scratching the writing itch in addition to feeding my obsession about my favourite tv shows. lol. i really should write more instead of going on a two-year (general) fiction writing drought. time to use what i've learned in that online course. there's really something about creating a character and making him or her do exactly what i want. although sometimes they run away from me which is fine to some extent. as of this writing a plot bunny is forming in my mind.
----------------------
a band that's been tripping in my earwaves as of late is acid house kings, an indie pop band from sweden. i first heard one of their songs, would you say stop? way back in 2011 and it made my songs of the year list then. but i haven't really listened to any of their other songs till now and how could i have not done so the first time? they make a good part of the best music i've heard this year. so far my favourites in addition to would you say stop? are sunday morning (this is so relaxing), waterfall (a total wow moment when i first listened to this), and say yes if you love me (this has such a playful tune). their tunes are all upbeat, it's hard not to bop your head along to the music. i also love the vocals. very calming and cheery at the same time, it makes me think of sunshine in contrast to dido's lovely, velvety night vocals. more on acid house kings soon.

so to wrap up this weekly randoms, just hit play and enjoy!

ramblings on hyperthyroidism

two weeks flew by really fast and last thursday afternoon found me once again at the doctor's clinic. thank God he said that i am responding really well to the adjusted medication, faster than the usual. my t3 level went up by .06 but still well within the normal limits while my t4 remained the same, a few points below the minimum normal range. which is what led my doctor to adjust my medication once again which is good, because i am to take it every other day now. i go back to meds tomorrow. and the best part? he gave me a reprieve from all the ban on seafood, dairy and egg yolks! hallelujah! granted, it was just from that day until today, but a reprieve for a few days is better than none at all. so of course the first thing i ate for dinner that day was the spicy seafood aglio olio pasta my bro brought home. it was so delicious, i practically wept tears of joy. breakfast on friday? grilled cheese sandwich and good old fashioned hot chocolate made with real dairy milk and NOT almond milk! my breakfast today was the same although i had some leftover chicken to add to my sandwich. i'd hoped to go out with the boys today because then i'd be able to push it and get me a slice of snr cheese pizza but i opted out. i figured once my doctor gave me the all-clear signal that's what i'll get to celebrate.

at times i still think i'm being a big baby about all my experiences with hyperthyroidism but can't help it, i've never been seriously ill before this except for the occasional fever or colds. before i got officially diagnosed i had lots of excuses for the symptoms i had. difficulty in swallowing? oh, that's because the ent told me i have tonsil stones. i was even coughing so i attributed it to that. sudden weight loss? hey, i've been taking up arnis since last year and i've been gradually losing weight since then.no energy at all/exhaustion? well i've always been exhausted, no surprise there when you reside in metro manila. mood swings? come on, i've always been on that since forever. no appetite? i hate brown rice! besides, i eat a lot on sundays at my tita's house. (but even when we ate out i ate reallllly slowly and practically had no energy to finish my food which is HIGHLY UNLIKELY of moi). so on and so forth. the only symptom i have no excuse for was the nightly two-hour fevers i've been having at the onset. it was finally attributed to a slight infection due to tonsillitis. the cherry on top would be anaemia which i also had thanks to lack of sleep and such. so imagine all the meds i had to take from those times. i hate taking meds, i hate being poked with a needle although i'm not really scared of it. i would never wish this kind of illness, and all others on someone because getting sick of whatever is still no joke.

the fun/bittersweet part of hyperthyroidism is the weight loss. i've gone down from 68 kilos to 58 kilos in less than a month approximately and i looked really sick and not the healthy look of someone who lost that much weight through proper diet and exercise. although my weight in college was about 55-58 kilos so it was ideal for my frame. i've gained back a few pounds since then and i'm hoping to maintain this present weight. i actually bought two new tops and a pair of pants because all my clothes have suddenly become baggy. some people have told me they wished they could lose weight as fast as i had but not in this manner. of course not. like i said, i don't wish for anyone to get sick.

so my takeaway from all this? tell someone right away about what you're feeling. because i never told anyone except for my brother. so for a month and a half i was enduring all the symptoms by myself especially the nightly fevers then and i only chugged biogesic every night. of course the general weakness i felt was eventually noticed by my family as well as everything else and they mentioned different possibilities of what my illness was, diabetes and tuberculosis included. when i finally plucked the courage to consult a doctor he even said it might be dehydration. it was summer and it was still possible to get dehydrated even if i hardly went out. and then it was my mum who pushed me to get a blood test as well for my tsh, ft3 and ft4 levels, in which hyperthyroidism was finally confirmed.

also, listen to what the doctor says. i did. i did it because i wanted to get well, and fast! (think dr. nefario in despicable me hehe). however i wish i didn't do some researching online because when my doctor said that there are several types of thyroid problems, i just had to see what they were. of course the last one i would read was about thyroid cancer. and much like pandora opening that fateful box, i clicked the symptoms for that. coughing is one of them. i was coughing almost nonstop at that time. so just imagine the ice that crept down my spine. for me to say that it only added to my worries is putting it lightly. i already felt very weak from keeping everything to myself for a long time and that piece of information about coughing, well, just intensified my worries until i got my thyroid ultrasound results. so from then on, i only researched for recipes that don't use dairy and whole eggs in them.

speaking of recipes, i had to make a whole lot of adjustments to what i should eat. upon checking the ingredients of most dry goods in our pantry (i know, i'm such a tita already), i discovered that iodised salt is one of the key ingredients. it will be difficult for me to have anything for breakfast so i decided to make everything from scratch, without using iodised salt (i used rock salt and sometimes that super expensive himalayan pink salt), dairy milk and whole eggs. all i had for breakfast for the first few weeks were experiments of sweet potato pancakes, all made with just egg whites, baking powder, flour and coconut milk. once i made banana pancakes. yummy!

sometimes i also had some oatmeal and champorado mixed with almond milk. they taste okay, but nothing beats dairy milk. i went to the point that i made skillet bread and even homemade granola to add variety. and yeah, i also made my own peanut butter which had different results every time. so far i've made three batches. as in i roasted the peanuts myself on a traditional kawali, then pulverised them in a blender and mixed with oil, salt and muscovado syrup which yes, i also made myself since i have some muscovado sugar on hand. now how artisanal is that, eh? haha! and the recipes do not stop there. i even looked for recipes on vegan ice cream that don't require an ice cream maker. i've already enjoyed two batches of coco banana ice cream sprinkled with cacao bits.

savoury cooking was not hard at all because we never use iodised salt at home anyway. but since the packaged tomato sauce has it, i just make my own tomato sauce instead. it wasn't hard to make it since i've done it many times before. my takeaway when it comes to cooking healthy is that why buy expensive health food when you can make it yourself? use ingredients that are readily available in the supermarket and whatever you already have on hand at home. the only "healthy" foodstuff i bought are the non-dairy milks such as almond and rice, and then that himalayan pink salt which i use sparingly since we use the ordinary rock salt too. that's it. i've adjusted to living without butter and cheese and so far, so good. hopefully i still get to try my hand at making vegan butter because the vegan butter i checked out in some health stores around the metro are so freaking expensive. and when i checked for recipes, the ingredients are very easy to come by except for the nutritional yeast which i'm not sure yet where to get it. however, that is not to say that i'm swearing off dairy, or that i'll be turning to the dark side aka veganism, oh, no. nuh-uh. simply put, i'll follow my doctor's orders on what i can and cannot eat. until then, adjustment is the name of the game.

and how could i forget the prayers? it really pays to have a support system who will help you through tough times. i must admit i even had some reservations on sharing my prayer request at first but since God did not create us to be solitary creatures, i went and put everything out there. for the meds to work as they are supposed to, wisdom for the doctor, etc. really grateful to my friends and family who prayed with us. so it's not a surprise when i responded to the meds quite fast from the first time. there were still some bumps along the way but with my current result and doctor's prognosis, all i can say is all the glory and honour belong to our God.  

so i guess that's it for now on my hyperthyroidism story. here's to the next three weeks 'til the next checkup and beyond.

sunday currently vol. 28

reading: the heart of the matter by emily giffin and some fanfiction.

writing: this. and oh. i was able to write 2 fanfics in two weeks. the second one just published yesterday. i just realised. there's a two year gap from the last time i posted a fanfic and another two year gap before that. hoping i wouldn't go on another writing drought, fanfic or regular fiction-wise. i didn't attend that online fiction writing course for nothing.

listening to: monsters by ruelle.

thinking: of a lot of things.

smelling: nothing.

wishing: on a falling star. hope i see one on this cloudy night lol.

wearing: sleepwear. cos i am about to sleep! i've been sleeping late again lately which is so not good, as in sleeping at 1 or 2 am. i think this is one of the factors that got me into such a health crisis.

loving: doctor's green light on doing strenuous exercise, aka arnis. hahaha. i've been back for two saturdays now and it feels oh so good.

wanting: the same thing.

needing: to be fully free from hyperthyroidism and the abstinence from anything dairy and seafood. because the doc still upheld those dietary restrictions. thank God i am not crying a lot anymore about not being able to have dairy. so i discovered that almond milk really goes well with tablea chocolate. hehehe.  

feeling: like i got jetlag. i really need to sleep. i tried napping in the afternoon yesterday but my brain was too active which really sucked. then i went to bed at 1am, woke up at 6, then again at 8am. this afternoon i tried napping again and i think it was ok but only for 45 minutes. lack of sleep makes me absolutely cranky which is not so good for the people around me. so what am i doing here still rambling about sleeping, eh?? good night then! lol

siddathornton, this is a really great idea. thanks!

toots

something that i unearthed in an old blog/webpage of mine. felt like updating so yeah.

8 years ago..

1) How old were you?
      > old enough to be an associate professor.
2) Where did you go to school?
      > already working for several years
3) Where did you work?
      > freelance voice artist and translator
4) Where did you live?
      > metro manila
5) Where did you hang out?
      > studio d, assortment of studios
6) Did you wear contacts?
      > yes
7) Who was your best friend?
      > rao
8) How many tattoos did you have?
      > nada
9) How many piercings did you have?
      > 2
10) Did you drive a car?
      > nope
11) Have you been to a real party?
      > oo naman
12) Had you had your heart broken?
      > i dunno maybe
13) Were you single / Taken / Married /
      > single
14) Any Kids?
      > none

***4 years ago ***
1) How old were you?
      > you do the math
2) Where did you go to school?
      > workinggggg
3) Where did you work?
      > an airline
4) Where did you live?
      > metro manila
5) Where did you hang out?
      > wherever my flights took me
6) Did you wear glasses?
      > yes that and contacts
7) Who were your best friend(s)?
      > those who mattered
8) How many tattoos did you have?
      > wala parin eh!
9) How many piercings did you have?
      > 2 pa rin
10) What car did you drive?
      > does bump car count?
11) Had your heart broken?
      > no
12) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
      > happily single
13) Any Kids?
      > none

***Today/2018***
1) How old are you?
      > full professor
2) Where do you work?
      > back to teaching and freelancing keme keme
3) Where do you live?
      > same old
4) Do you wear glasses?
      > always. that and contacts
5) Where do you hang out?
      > depends on my mood
6)Closest friend(s)?
      > still the same, then getting to know new ones better.
7) Do you talk to your old friends?
      > of course. i always do. not hard to do when you've got friends you could count on one hand. ha.
8) How many piercings do you have?
      > 2 pa din
9) How many tattoos?
      > wala
10) What kind of car do you have?
      > hyundai accent
11) Has your heart been broken?
      > no
12) Single/taken/married/divorced?
      > single and lovin' it!
13) Any Children?
      > nada


i therefore conclude i haven't changed that much (again) in 8 years. lol.

tonight

nighttime once again. alone once again with my thoughts which is nothing new to say the least. what's strange is that even if i mentioned in the previous entry posted today that my mind is near to bursting, somehow the words fail to reach my fingertips.

one thing that won't leave me alone now is the fact that today was peppered with a lot of mood swings. one minute i was grinning/smirking over something and then royally annoyed the next at something someone tells me. then after a showdown or two, my heart felt like it's being crushed and i wanted to disappear from the face of the earth. and that looked like a very good idea. sounds so pathetic but that was how it was like. it was only earlier tonight that i realised that this might have been an effect of my hyperthyroidism.

however since this kind of jonah day had happened before, i can't tell for sure whether hyperthyroidism's the cause. which is also why on my first visit to my doctor and he asked me about my level of irritability and mood swings, i answered with a flippant, "well, it's always been like that" followed by a bark of laughter. he didn't find it funny. or maybe he was really good at having a poker face.

my family and i had dinner at greenwich after church tonight. i had to think fast on what to eat since i have literally dreamed of pizza and I WAS NOT ABLE TO EVEN HAVE A SLICE IN MY DREAM. oh, my heart. so anyway i had to think fast since lasagna is also one of my favourites in greenwich and that dish is oh-so-drowning in melted, gooey cheese. good thing the chain offers combo meals so i thought of getting the chicken and spaghetti (no cheese, please!) plate. did not get that after all upon being told that the only chicken part available was rib. so no. i got the solo spaghetti plate instead for myself.

the bundle that the others eventually got included lasagna. i took comfort in the fact that i could still eat the fried chicken wings and potato waves. but of course that didn't mean i didn't want even a bite of that lasagna.

i guess i am quite good at poker face too. outside, i was all calm and collected, but inwardly i was screaming at the unfairness of it all. why me? why do i have to avoid all the food i like? never mind the seafood i have to avoid. why can't i have my good old dairy?

so on and so forth. i know i'm being melodramatic over something as trivial as not being able to have dairy in general but what the hey. i've already made the necessary adjustments to life without dairy (for now) but am just allowing myself to vent. ha.

the innocent (?) lasagna

there are many hours to go before the magic of this cool night will have dissipated but have to end this here. actually no do hit play first and have a watch/listen to kalafina's live performance of the song oblivious from the anime kara no kyoukai: fukan fuukei. :)





ok now good night!

sunday currently vol.27

daytime rarely holds any magic for me. sundays though are a rarity as when it is coupled with the kind of silence much like we have during christmas and easter holidays. so because this afternoon is just so relaxing just as it is at night, i get to churn out whatever thoughts that are already threatening to spill out of my brain. but for now, it is the sunday currently. thanks to siddathornton!

reading: the heart of the matter by emily giffin.

writing: this.

listening to: moonfesta by kalafina.

thinking: of a lot of things.

smelling: nothing.

wishing: for the same thing for a long time now.

wearing: old running jersey and jeans.

loving: arnis.

wanting: the same thing.

needing: to be free from hyperthyroidism and the abstinence from anything dairy and seafood. 

feeling: like i'm in limbo.

LSS: I have a dream - Kalafina

The rains have abated somewhat, giving a much-needed respite from all the dank and wet atmosphere that pervaded the metro for two straight weeks. That did not stop me from socialising with friends, though. I guess it's to make up for lost time due to the happenings last summer. But upon coming home, I go plug my ears and play my current song by Kalafina on loop. Because I learned of Kalafina during the rainy days, well, the rainy days for me now aren't complete without bingeing on their music. (Still do on super sunshiny days, of course.)

Kalafina is a band from Japan formed in 2007 with Hikaru Masai, Keiko Kubota and Wakana Ootaki as its members from the time I learned of them in 2012. A fourth member, Maya Toyoshima, was only active with the band until 2009. Even so, they are such a joy to listen to and especially watch. I love watching their music videos as well as the live ones since they show several elements that are close to my heart: the classic, medieval, fantasy, and that gypsy-like atmosphere. I also find their costumes amazing as well.

More importantly, one can see that their passion for singing just emanates from them, pure and sweet. Each member has a distinctive voice that blends oh, so beautifully when all of them sing together. It is with this last thought of mine that I think how would Kalafina sound now that Keiko and her wonderful contralto voice has left the band just this April. I get bummed just thinking of it which is why for now my playlist consists mostly of Kalafina's songs. Still I wish Keiko well in her future endeavours as well as the remaining members.

Their song that enjoys heavy rotation in my earwaves as of late is I have a dream. It is the theme song of the animated movie Eva no Jikan (Time of Eve), and it is included in Kalafina's 2010 album Red Moon. I found a website on Kalafina that supplies English translations of their songs. Click here.

Now hit play for a watch and listen! This video is actually a surprise for me since all the ruffles and asymmetric gowns I'm used to seeing on Hikaru, Keiko and Wakana are toned way, wayyyy down. And those shirts! The girls rock them! :)

random ramblings

it has stopped raining for the nth time, rendering the night cooler than ever. the rainy season has started indeed. funny since this was easier to announce than summer this year, when it was already in the middle of april when the weather began to really heat up.

the rainy season came right by on time. it started raining last thursday and it has been falling off and on ever since.

for most students, it is just the beginning of another school year. for the others, their summer vacation. and as for the rest of the metro's populace, it's another gradual slide once more into the inevitable carmaggeddon that plagues the city for the rest of the year.

as for me, the season is just that: the rainy season. sometimes i like it (because the weather's cool again), sometimes i don't (never liked squishy sneakers! who does?).

i do have a love-hate relationship with rain. but i find it does help with writing. i haven't had anything posted here for the rest of the summer. most probably it's the heat, among other things. anyway i'm glad my writing mojo has been dampened enough for me to churn out the thoughts that rage in my mind. and thanks to the cool weather, i could snuggle under furry sheets once again.

===============

this year's summer was certainly a summer to remember. or to forget. i wasn't in the best of spirits for the whole summer as i've been riddled with a couple of illnesses that seemed to have no end. they were concentrated in my neck area: tonsillitis and hyperthyroidism. wow. no wonder i've had trouble swallowing, been getting feverish at night yet all right during daytime. and there was the general feeling of weakness all over that i haven't ever gone to arnis training since the second week of april. i think that is the worst thing ever, the second being having no appetite. yep, yours truly lost her appetite for weeks.

at any rate, i'm just glad that there's no more tonsil problems and that my hormones are getting back to normal level thanks to the meds and countless prayers of family and friends. it's a great feeling not to feel anything lumpy in my neck anymore. it's an even more awesome feeling that i'm back to my old weight when i was still in college. ha! i know i've been rambling on in my sunday currently about needing and having to lose weight. well, thanks (or no thanks) to hyperthyroidism, that is goal number 2 achieved. goal number one was to get a belt in arnis. still, i know that constant training in arnis has helped a lot with my weight loss; having hyperthyroidism only accelerated it.

a couple of my friends said that they'd like to lose weight as fast as i had, and i only have one thing to (teasingly) ask them: you wanna get sick with hyperthyroidism too?

of course the answer is no.

my life for now with hyperthyroidism is quite the rollercoaster ride. a huge adjustment, really. mostly it's because of the food i am not allowed to eat, which includes all seafood and seafood-based ingredients, iodized salt, dairy, and egg yolks. i get the no seafood, iodized salt and egg yolk parts, but dairy? my beloved dairy??? during that first week when i was diagnosed, the wheels in my head worked overtime as to how i could substitute all that creamy, milky goodness of cheese, butter, ice cream, etc. and at the same time despairing since I NEED MY DAILY DOSE OF DAIRY! (tantrum, tantrum).

there are a smattering of health food stores in manila wherein they basically serve only those who can really afford the healthy stuff. most of the products are imported and to me seemed kind of rare and strange. come on. almond and cashew milks? since when did nuts develop udders, yeah? then again i think of soy milk which i enjoy drinking. ok, never mind.

so far i've enjoyed adding almond milk to my coffee, hot chocolate, oatmeal, and champorado. same thing with the rice milk and i do prefer it more when simply drinking it. i'm not sure about cashew milk yet but my vegan uncle swears by the cashew-based cream cheese he makes himself.

and then there's coconut milk. ha! i've been cooking and making desserts with it since time immemorial, but i haven't tried using it as a substitute for cow's milk. coconut milk is the easiest to come by because it's readily available in the supermarket. i could even get it fresh from my neighbourhood store and have the coconut meat shredded. once home, i soak the shredded coconut in warm water that covers it just so, then squeeze out the milk with a cheesecloth. a thin towel works well too. kind of like an artisanal beginning for whatever i'm planning to cook. this is also the way i grew up with long before the canned sort came out on the market.

so coconut milk it is. but what about the bread? while most of my countrymen prefer rice for breakfast, it has always been bread for me. i must admit i became a little bit obsessed about the no-iodized salt rule and began checking the ingredients of grocery items i usually purchase. lo and behold, 99.9% of what we buy at the supermarket are made with iodized salt. so just to help myself with getting better, i scoured the internet for foods made with natural ingredients. and since i couldn't live without bread, the closest thing to it that i could easily buy and make myself would be pancakes. pancakes because our oven's busted and no one feels compelled to fix it.

so far i have tried making pancakes with several additions: sweet potato, mango (fresh from our tree in the backyard), sweet potato with cacao nibs, and coco banana. my first try at making sweet potato pancakes was funny. i used purple sweet potato and i thought, purple pancakes might look just as good as those made with the orange kind. but nooooo. after mixing the ingredients, the batter looked a lovely shade of light cement gray. actually it was kind of scary since i need nourishment and my first foray into vegan/paleo/whatever cookery was turning out to be something a mad scientist might do. i cooked it anyway and as the pancakes were cooking, the colour turned from a light cement gray to a radioactive green. 

here's the photo of the finished product for reference:

radioactive pancakes, anyone? :))

don't let the colour scare you. the pancakes were actually tasty and quite filling. my mum raved so much about it so i made several more. nothing like an encouragement from mum, huh? 

there is now a stock of orange sweet potato waiting to be turned into more pancakes and more.

....

it has now been more than three weeks since i've started a change in diet for health reasons. so far, so good. in addition to pancakes, i've also tried my hand at making peanut butter, vegan ice cream and even mojos. everyone at home loved the mojos; the ice cream, not so much although for me it's perfect of course and i couldn't wait to try adding more natural ingredients to it. savoury cooking is easy since i only have to use regular rock salt for flavouring.

the breakfast, pastry and dessert making is more challenging since it's all about substitutions in the ingredients and tweaking recipes for the most part. because like i said, most of the food products sold at health stores are crazy-expensive and i only need a few items there anyway such as the dairy substitutes. now i only need to learn how to make vegan butter and cheese. 

the blender is my newest bff in the kitchen. sorry, santoku knife.