written a couple of years ago by my older (now younger) self. ;)
================
dear lotts,
so! you have now just turned a good old
21. this is a very significant age for you. you have graduated from
college a couple months back, and now you are on a well-deserved bakasyon engrande
in new jersey, living a semi-independent life thousands of miles away
from your own family. thank God for tito and his family who so
graciously welcomed you into their home.
today is also the
first time that you are celebrating your birthday far away from your
family and your friends. a new kind of experience for you, but i don't
think that you're feeling even a teeny bit homesick. in fact, all you
can think of is the freedom that being 21 brings. that and the time when
you will be asked for your ID when you get to order an alcoholic drink
because you don't look 21. ha! you'll have that experience soon enough.
(spoiler alert!)
whoa, 21 years old. so you feel old now, huh? mature? a real adult?
well dearie, the ultra main reason why this season of your life is very
significant for you is because in the months of your living
semi-independently, you will be learning a lot about relationships,
travelling, and basically life as it will be served to you. in tagalog, marami ka pang kakaining bigas. papunta ka pa lang, nangangalahati na ako sa paglalakbay.
okay
now, let's start with the fun part: YOU ARE ONLY A BRIDGE AWAY FROM NEW
YORK CITY! remember that NYC has three more boroughs, and not just
Manhattan and Brooklyn. explore, explore, explore some more! you already
feel at home in the city that never sleeps. as you already know, it's
just like Manila--only the chaos there is a little more orderly.
at
any rate, with your weekly jaunts to NYC, you will learn that walking
is the best way to explore. you'll also discover that you enjoy
travelling by yourself and getting lost in the process. here's the
thing. going out without a plan is one thing, but make sure you know how
to get to the places you really intend to visit. discovering new
stores and eats is a bonus along the way.
if the places
you want to see are in unfamiliar areas, then write down directions,
genuinely study a map, and don't be too shy to ask someone for
directions when you are not confident that you are traversing in the
right way. it is the same in life. having a goal is essential. once you
know what you want, you plan for it, and then work towards that goal.
you see, while inconveniencing yourself can be quite exciting at times
because of that sense of the unknown factor, it can be a pain in the
butt as well.
oh yeah, here's a great suggestion: when
you're in Manhattan and impulse strikes, please follow it regardless of
the things that you don't have with you at the moment. you never know
what surprises await you when you board a bus or train to somewhere. SO
GO BUY THAT TICKET TO CONNECTICUT!!!
when tita offers to
help you in starting up your devotions, grab it. AND be serious about
it. having a personal relationship with God is very important. i can
never stress that enough. always include God in your plans and never
fail in asking Him for guidance. read your Bible regularly and get to
know God better by doing daily devos. they will not only help you
discern His will for you, but you will learn how to live a Christ-like
life (no matter how difficult that is for us mere mortals).
sometimes
you think that whatever you will be ten years from now is very far
off. you know what, it's not really that far off. you will get caught
up in your day-to-day activities that one day you will just wake up and
realize that ten years have already passed. by then your interests and
priorities will have changed, and most probably your way of thinking
as well. whatever you decide to do in your twenties will set the course
of what you will be after ten years. so in addition to the ones i've
written above, here are some more nuggets of wisdom that will help you.
you
are raging to start working now that you are 21 (oohhh). you are so
fired up with lots of choices that you want to be a lot of things at a
time. but you are only one person. first, find a job that suits you, the
sooner the better. the rest of your interests will eventually fall into
place.
believe in your abilities. do not ever edit or
restrain yourself except when the situation calls for it. i know that
you have this tendency of stopping in the middle of a task or never
repeating something because of some comment, may it be good or bad.
well, guess what. your abilities are God-given and you have to make good
use of them. so what if there are rubberneckers? so what if there are
people who are ultra-maarte and pakialamero? there are
more people who believe in your talents, so you must learn to believe
in yourself. God, yourself and your family and friends are your team.
twenty-one
is an age when most people, including you, are very idealistic. not to
burst your bubble or anything, but let me tell you as early as now that
experiencing a lot of disappointments along the way is inevitable. it
may be because of circumstances or the people around you. when something
happens, do not take it to heart so much. disappointment leads to
disillusionment which ultimately leads to cynicism. oops. have i already
burst your bubble? think of this as your first life lesson then.
there
are times when people want to be left alone. you are a mostly solitary
person yourself, so you should understand when others want to be alone.
do
not be shy to speak up. if you cannot avoid being with large groups of
people, let them know from time to time that you are not invisible. i'm
not saying that you make a scene or something; just share your thoughts
with them or make a funny comment or burp or fart or whatever. just as
long as they won't leave you while you're in the restaurant's CR because
they forgot that you were with them. remember that particular scene
from a couple years back? keep in mind: only the invisible man and harry
potter and his friends can become invisible.
speaking of
speaking up, try to share more of yourself with your friends. you
already have the gift of listening. you will just make it harder for
yourself to share anything if you keep clamming up. not fair to your
friends who pour out their inner beings to thee.
you know
what, one thing that i am thankful to God for is that He always sends
people at just the right time, whether on sunny days or when we are
enveloped in clouds of doom and gloom and in dire need of some cheering
up (but just don't want to admit it). these people, a.k.a. friends are
the angels here on earth with whom we will have formed bonds so strong
that not even oceans that separate us can sever them. so yes. giving
just a little bit more of yourself won't hurt a bit.
but
what if it does hurt? you may ask. to quote the great nora roberts, the
heart has to break a little to make room. that is, to make room for
people to enter your life and enrich it (or otherwise...da-da-da-dunn!),
and for the life lessons that you will be learning as the years go by.
i
guess that's it. enjoy your stay with tito and family over there.
don't give tito and tita any headaches, huh! i promise you
great memories of your trip there that will stay with you for all time.
happy sailing through life. focus on what you want, what you really,
really want, and you might just get the condo and ducati you've been
salivating over just a little bit sooner.
ms. lotts
p.s. conversation over food and/or drinks is the best kind of conversation.
p.p.s. kids who don't want to eat are best left alone until they get hungry. then they'll eat on their own accord.
p.p.p.s.
cut back on those king-sized chocolate bars and bags of potato chips,
will you? go play basketball in the park with the guys instead of
walking to 7-11 practically every single afternoon for your sugar and
salt fix.
