grateful

normally i would do my thankful twenty as the year ends. but as i was too busy doing everything but the work i'd hoped i'd be doing already, i didn't have the time to do so last december. then i found this lovely little printable by Holley Gerth, a writer whose blog I follow. and then i thought, i'll answer these questions and make this my thankful twenty post for 2016 even if it won't be literally a list of twenty things i'm grateful for. Ms. Gerth originally shared this printable for thanksgiving last year.

God, I'm especially grateful for...

1. Person / People I love: family and friends who would know who they are if they ever come across my little slice of the www.

2. Blessing I've received: reached my mid-30s. Sometimes I still can't believe I've reached this particular age. when I remember how old I am, I get surprised. harhar.

3. Something small that brings me joy: when somebody treats me to a delicious burger.

4. A favourite memory from this year: all my travels: Kalibo, Kuala Lumpur, Tagaytay, and Baguio. The first two being for work, and the next two are the weddings of my bro and cousin, respectively. Another cousin actually got married in 2016, but the wedding was held in Antipolo, which is practically a part of Metro Manila already so it doesn't count as a travel item. So I guess I can say another favourite memory of mine from 2016 was the three weddings. All happened one month after the other, and all were really beautiful in their own way. and oh. Grey's Anatomy season 8. heehee.

5. Your provision (ex. Health, house): I'm still standing, getting through day to day. I'll just leave it at that. Because that's all that matters.

6. This prayer You answered: a very beautiful wedding for my brother. There were so many things that made the preparation so difficult, such as the fact that his then fiancée of six years is an OFW who arrived only a month before the wedding. The bulk of the preps was of course delegated to those who are here in the Philippines including me who isn't even the maid of honour, but I still did more than the actual maid of honour and best man combined... well that's all in the past now. The most important thing is that it turned out to be such a lovely wedding in spite of all the hoops we all had to jump through to prepare for it.

7. Who you are (ex. Caring, strong, kind): sarcastic, cynic, spineless loser. If anyone wants to know any good side of mine, better ask my friends. Although I can say I'm a good listener. Cos my friends say so.

8. Who I am because of You (ex. Loved, accepted): loved, accepted, saved. Sometimes though I can still be really stubborn to the point of being stupid. Oh dear.

9. One thing I have to look forward to next year (which is now, 2017): that call I've been waiting for half a year now. Also a new prospect that will allow me to help my family.

10. Open - Whatever is on my heart today: I really don't know what to think or feel. I ended 2016 with such a pessimistic view that I could not remember much of what had transpired. Or maybe I do but I want to forget everything except those nice memories. Like what most people say, expectation is the root of all heartache. If only. Those two magical words out to express regret. Still, I'm grateful to have experienced the things I've, well, experienced the past year. I can only look forward to the rest of 2017 with hope. (come to think of it, I also greeted 2016 with hope and look where it got me... ok, I'll stop the pity party right here lol).

And yeah. How I wish I could hang out with the people (friends) I love more especially those who are so hard to set a schedule with.

We give You thanks. (Rev. 11:17)

random thoughts on grey's anatomy

In a previous post, I mentioned watching the season 8 finale ("Flight") scene from Grey's Anatomy where Lexie Grey died from the plane crash. I was content after watching it. It satisfied my curiosity even if it left me heartbroken for a while. That was supposed to be the end of it.

But fate just had to play a hand in my TV habits. When I arrived home from an overseas trip in the wee hours of the morning, I turned on the TV in the hopes that I could catch a rerun of one of my favourite shows before settling in. Lo and behold, what should be airing on the channel I tuned in to but the rerun of Grey's Anatomy season 8, and the first episode, no less. If this was providence, I don't know what is.

So yeah, I initially tuned in to watch Grey's Anatomy season eight because I wanted to see Chyler Leigh play a different character, that is, Lexie Grey. Lexie's personality is somewhat dorky compared to the serious Alex Danvers in Supergirl. But as the season progressed, I found myself getting enamoured with the rest of the show's characters and their storylines. The show made me laugh and get teary-eyed at all the right moments all throughout. The writing was superb, and all the actors were amazing.

I particularly like Meredith and Cristina's friendship. Even after having seen it for just one season so far, I get why they're dubbed the twisted sisters. The way they tormented April, oh dear. I felt mean for laughing along with them. Miranda was fun to watch as she's this tough-talking doctor who is very good at her job yet gets all flustered when it comes to personal matters. Lexie had fewer appearances in the season so I might have to backtrack to the earlier seasons to be able to see her relationship with Mark Sloan develop.

When episode 24 finally rolled along, it was so hard to watch it even if I had a bit of preparation. Call me melodramatic, but not only did I feel my heart shatter into a zillion pieces over the doctors' predicament, I found myself wiping my eyes which I promised never to do again since I watched Prue Halliwell die on Charmed's season 3 finale. And that was a promise which was broken many times over. So as heartbreaking as "Flight" was to watch, I loved it. And since it ended on a cliffhanger, I had to watch episode 1 of season 9. And the one after that. And the next...

Ooh, I have some serious catching up to do.

Yep, Grey's Anatomy is officially in my TV playlist.

One more thing.

You're my person.

Now that is a #friendshipgoal for you. 

The theme is also a winner. Hit play!

waiting game

i originally planned to moan and groan about my present situation. but like in the much-beloved series of books called choose your own adventure, i decided against it. instead, i turned to page 100 and chose to listen to music, hymns to be specific. i love hymns, the one below being one of them. i guess i can also say it somewhat convicted me.

 lyrics are in the video so won't be adding them here. hit play!!!





I'd rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today.

hihi

logged on to one of my old emails after doing the recovery thing. i was supposed to do something in there but i ended up doing something else, which was to read old email exchanges with friends. i laughed out loud at one such email exchange, where a friend told me that she thought i have published my very first novel, my email to her was THAT long. as a parting shot, she said she'll keep her email short and sweet as she doesn't plan to do a tolkien that day. hahaha!

come to think of it, i did write really long emails to my friends years ago whenever i travelled out of the country. i wonder what they thought of those, cos i just kept rambling and rambling about a lot of things. they must think i am a very trivial person. can't help it though, cos whatever i refrain from talking about out loud, i make up for it by writing long and i mean really long emails/letters/blog posts, no holds barred. i love sending postcards too, but they don't provide enough space for what i have to share so writing long emails/letters/blog posts it is for the most part.

the advent of social media meant lesser personal emails and blog posts, and more micro blogging and sharing others' posts. i must admit that even i fell into the maelstrom that i eventually abandoned blogging for a time. up until 2012 i managed a food and travel blog where i met many like-minded people and who became my friends on facebook; some of them i even met personally. but as aforementioned, blogging took a backseat to the social media platforms i am a member of until such time that i felt the need to blog again, and so this came to be. 

only a handful of my friends know about this blog, and i don't know if they even visit this. i hardly post here anyway and if i do, the posts are way shorter than what i used to write in my old blog. as for emails, i think the last time i wrote one was about four years back but i never got a reply for that. even so i am trying to write as much as i did before. after all, this is like riding a bike, once you learn how to, you cannot unlearn it even if you haven't done it for quite some time. that is why after some drought in here i started again with the sunday currently. again, baby steps. 

who knows, i might be able to bother my friends with long emails/letters again. maybe even with a very detailed blog post or two.

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i am still on my jess glynne streak, so i'll share one of her songs that touched a chord in me. it's definitely different from her happy dance tunes, from the melody down to the message of the song. the video? raw and powerful. there is the official video of the song but i like how this one shot version speaks to the viewers. i also like what jess wrote in her description of this particular video of take me home. i could have written it myself as i've been to that place where she's gone to, in another time, yet in a different situation. in other words, anyone can absolutely relate to this. when you're in the doldrums, you're in the doldrums no matter what circumstance put you in there. we could wallow in despair because of this, but still can choose not to. and whether we believe it or not, there is always somebody out there who will help us out of the mire we've got ourselves into. all we have to do is ask. 

lyrics: Take Me Home

Wrapped up, so consumed by all this hurt
If you ask me, don't know where to start
Anger, love, confusion
Roads that go nowhere
I know that somewhere better
'Cause you always take me there

Came to you with a broken faith
Gave me more than a hand to hold
Caught before I hit the ground
Tell me I'm safe, you've got me now

Would you take the wheel
If I lose control?
If I'm lying here
Will you take me home?

Could you take care of a broken soul?
Will you hold me now?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?

Hold the gun to my head, count 1, 2, 3
If it helps me walk away then it's what I need
Every minute gets easier
The more you talk to me
You rationalize my darkest thoughts
Yeah, you set them free

Came to you with a broken faith
Gave me more than a hand to hold
Caught before I hit the ground
Tell me I'm safe, you've got me now

Would you take the wheel
If I lose control?
If I'm lying here
Will you take me home?

Could you take care of a broken soul?
Oh, will you hold me now?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?

You say space will make it better
And time will make it heal
I won't be lost forever
And soon I wouldn't feel
Like I'm haunted, oh, falling

Would you take the wheel
If I lose control?
If I'm lying here
Will you take me home?

Could you take care of a broken soul?
Oh, will you hold me now?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home, home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?

random thoughts

my unintended four-month vacation ended last monday, when my training finally began. it was with mixed feelings that i started it, yet judging from the past three days it looks like my worries were for naught. as i was telling my friend f last night, the general atmosphere of the training was light years  different from what i experienced before that it feels too good to be true. but it is true, and for that i am very thankful. the first three days simply zoomed by. what more on the following days. i feel that this will be exactly like when i took up tesol a couple of years ago: exhausting, brain draining, and huge loads of fun, fun, fun. :)

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since it's a holiday today, there's no training so i took my sweet time this morning to get up from my comfy bed. was too tired even to go boxing even if i planned to do so today. however, the call of lying down like a beached whale is too strong not to heed so yeah.

i still wish there's a way to lose all the unwanted fats in an instant, like instant noodles fast.

baby steps, girl, baby steps.

again.

oh, dear. 

=====================

listening now to ta pa, one of the four finalists in the aldub songwriting contest and my personal favourite. ta pa is composed by maria salvi nuevo and karlo zabala and sung by aika zabala. it was interpreted by kitchie nadal during the grand finals. 

i think this song should have won! but still congratulations to all that made it to the finals!

normally i don't read the comments in any social media but for the video of this song i scrolled down for a bit. someone commented that the song sounded like it was something from a japanese anime. i agree, especially during the chorus. i like the voice of aika as well.

so as ever, hit, hit, hit that play button!!!

click refresh

in my previous post i mentioned that i was glad not to have to face and mingle with hundreds of people as well as brave through manila's public transportation for two days. well, it is now the third (and last) day of not having to do either of those and for that i am very thankful. i guess i really need this time off from people in general. ever since i became a front liner (a position that i have been able to successfully elude since graduating from college) for an airline last year it seemed like there is no end to the line of people that i have to face. granted that i have some days off from work, but somehow this time it has been more significant because i hardly ever went out these past few days except to run a few errands and spend some quality time with family just within a five-kilometre radius from my home. i even caught up on my much-needed sleep.

as of now the rest of the metro is still hustling and bustling. as for me however, i am now so enjoying just sitting down, reading whatever i like, listening to my favourite sounds and enjoying the peaceful scenery around me. all the troubles that heavily weigh on me all melted away to nothingness. so basically yes, home is where my heart is today. 

i really do think i'll go back to work tomorrow with a lighter heart.  

======================

here's a song that perfectly captures my unexpected three days off. :)

year 1

because it's been a year since i started this blog.

and because i needed to be reminded of this. always.


image from holley gerth

random anticipations

it has been quite some time since i was shot from the heights of anticipation. that's why when it happened again just recently, i felt like i was back in limbo. it's as if i was thrust once more into that space where i'm floating in nothingness. for someone who has been waiting for this particular event to fly (pun intended), this is the second to the last straw. because i'm giving this one more chance before totally giving up on it (why does this strangely sound like a combination of two sappy pinoy romantic movies with songs for titles?!).

yes, i'm annoyed, angry, frustrated and discouraged right now but this doesn't mean that i'm letting this get me down. one more time. here's to waiting again in the wings. last one. 

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soooooo. arrow ep 14 is set to air on wednesday in the states. three days after i'll be able to watch it right here in good old philippines. i am so looking forward to it. won't be checking out tumblr until after it has aired, that's for sure. but because i'm quite partial to spoilers it is most likely that that promise will be broken. and i won't even feel bad about it. ha. 

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so!!! the puppy a friend promised me has died. so much for that. when, oh when???

let the storm rage on!

thanks living

went to an american friend's despedida party last night. it was a small gathering of people from my friend's office, plus me and and another friend. it was a fun night of food, friends and lovely conversation. and since it's a week or so before thanksgiving in the states and majority of the people in the party are americans, the people decided to make the night a pre-thankgsiving dinner as well. each person around the table shared what they're thankful for, and when my turn came, my mind went unmercifully blank. many thanks to K for giving me a jumpstart :D

so, what am i thankful for? i am very thankful to God that my brother is safe and sound after experiencing the wrath of typhoon haiyan in kalibo, aklan. he has been based there for work since may. he's back home here in manila two days after the typhoon but will be returning to kalibo soon. 

after the sharing and the conversation went on to other topics, i got to listing in my mind more things that i am thankful for:

- my relatives in roxas city, capiz are also safe. 

- despite the ugly news about politicians politicking at a time like this, the many other nameless filipinos quietly volunteer their time in helping out any way they can to aid the victims. they are the ones who keep the bayanihan spirit really and truly alive. mabuhay kayo!

- anderson cooper. i've always admired this guy ever since i saw him on his talk show. the way he delivered his report on what's truly happening in tacloban, without any sugarcoating, sensationalising and such, increased my respect for him even more. anderson cooper, maraming, maraming salamat po.
- people from other countries who dropped everything and went to the philippines in different contingencies to help. from this filipino, i thank you from the bottom of my heart. i know i am speaking for my fellow countrymen when i say that we are all grateful for your selfless act. we may be quite a forgetful bunch, but we never, ever forget the good others do for us. God bless, and mabuhay kayo!

personal

- lost weight thanks to boxing.

- could finally give my t-shirts a rest.

- was able to develop some sort of discipline regarding my eating habits (more fruits and veggies, less junk!)

- was able to FINALLY learn how to apply make-up by myself. still practising, but i'm getting there.

- collection of david baldacci's king and maxwell series is nearing completion ^_^

 

and that's it. for now. because i have a lot of things to be thankful for this year, will definitely post more soon. 

advance happy thanksgiving! :)

note: title borrowed from one of happyslip's thanksgiving video tanks :)

would you be happier by the corrs

you're gonna be just fine (gonna be just fine)
i think you're gonna be just fine
don't worry baby
you're gonna be just fine
don't worry honey
you're gonna be just fine
don't worry baby
i think you're gonna be just fine

lights

Balloons. Loot bags. Cake. Ice cream. Cotton candy. Games. Prizes. Plus the optional party host and magic/puppet show. These are just some of the things one can expect to find in a birthday party.

Some birthday parties have a theme, some don't. Some are extravagant, and some are simple. But either way, these parties are absolutely fun.

And in birthday parties, one can definitely see happy kids, parents, and guests, who are all there to join in the special day. 

The birthday celebrant is no doubt the star of the party. He or she gets to be the first volunteer in games or shows, the first in line for the loot bags, and of course, the one who gets to blow the candles on the birthday cake. Unless the baby brother or sister or an overexcited friend blows first.

Everybody laughs. Everybody claps. Everybody sings.

Mum and Dad give their birthday wishes.

Birthday boy or girl says thank you.

Or hides behind Mum and Dad, too shy to say anything.

How cute.

Sigh.

Sometimes I wish.
I could be a part of that mysterious yet not-so-mysterious world called parenthood.  
It must be wonderful to see your child's eyes shine bright with happiness.
That in itself is a gift enough to parents.