Wow. I can't believe it's just two more days before the new year arrives again. It certainly seems just like yesterday when I began 2017 with a pessimistic note. Now I'm ending it with a noteless tune. Meaning I have no idea what to expect. I am not even hoping for anything. With all the health issues, bad decisions, and false hopes that riddled my life this year, yeah, not hoping for anything but to survive yet another coming year is just the thing to do.
However... HOWEVER! This annoying little hopeful voice within just bats away at every cynical word I say. Despite the fact that my 2017 was peppered with health issues, bad decisions, and false hopes, there were blessings upon blessings that I try hard to remember. Actually, yes, most of them are blessings that I never hoped would ever happen. And for that my heart is grateful. And they are the ones that deserve a mention here. Darn hopeful voice.
Soooooo, just like my grateful post at the beginning of this year, I will be using Holley Gerth's lovely Thanksgiving printable format for this. Because no matter what the outside noises tell me, all I have to be is still and remember what God has done in my life this year. Even if I haven't really given Him my time of day except Sunday. No, I am not proud of that. At all.
God, I'm especially grateful for...
1. Person / People I love: family and friends who would know
who they are if they ever come across my little slice of the www.
2. Blessing I've received: voice over projects after that flying stint, seeing my cousin (niece actually but long story) again after twenty-six looooooooong years, taking up a new sport (arnis), and other work that tides me through while waiting for a more stable job.
3. Something small that brings me joy: working from home again. wahahahaha!
4. A favourite memory from this year:When A, this long-lost cousin of mine, finally came home for a visit last April after leaving the Philippines twenty-six years ago. A and I were the best of friends growing up; she and her grandmother even stayed in our house for a length of time when she went to my school for two years. Then she had to leave with her mum and stepdad and they haven't been back since. Until now. Of course, there were snail mail and then emails that we sent to each other during those twenty-six years apart, but they were few and far in between. And then even with the advent of social media, we hadn't really connected much except for the occasional comments and likes. All that was really just fine because when we saw each other again told a different story. Oh, the really tight hugs and screams that said volumes how much we missed each other, the way we could not be separated every time the family gets together. I will always and forever remember our bonding moments when she was here. Three short weeks wasn't long enough to catch up but how I cherished every moment of her stay here. Also so happy to have seen A's mum again and finally her not-so-little sister who was born a few years after they migrated. It's like they haven't left at all. They are all really such fun people I wondered how they could have stayed away for so long. Yea the two of us talked about this and so, so, much more. Every moment we spent together was well-documented and I can't wait for the next time we'll see each other again. My heart, my heart.
5. Your provision (ex. Health, house):Healed of minor ailments that plagued me since May, most of them involving my respiratory system. Fun work!
6. This prayer You answered:See number 4. Because I never thought in my whole life that I'll ever see A in person again, not unless I visit her or we meet halfway, which hasn't ever happened. But maybe now, if she won't be able to come back any time soon, meeting halfway is a really good idea.
7. Who you are (ex. Caring, strong, kind): Pretty much consistent in this area. Still a sarcastic, cynic, spineless loser. Again, if anyone wants to know any good side of mine, better ask my five friends. Although I can say I'm a good listener. Cos my one of my friends says so.
8. Who I am because of You (ex. Loved, accepted): My heart believes that I'm loved, accepted, and saved. My brain is just overwhelmed with everything that it overflows to my heart. Lord please help me to be still.
9. One thing I have to look forward to next year: I have no idea. The thing I looked forward to this year was nothing but a false hope. Upon another false hope. Ok now I have an idea. A belt in arnis.
10. Open - Whatever is on my heart today: Like I said, I really have no idea what to expect for the coming new year. I need to make some changes in my current work if I want it to really work. Ha. I hope I will have a really good training in arnis and even get a belt. Especially since I've gone to the lengths of buying a uniform! And I really have to just be still and not let myself be overwhelmed by the noise of the world. Because it has gotten really loud and all I could think of is my discomfort. Nothing and nobody else. That has got to change. If I could do things differently this year? I wouldn't have made those bad decisions. Some of them were pretty obvious but I still went through with them and so I am here. Not in a rut, but still, somewhere I don't want to be at the moment. The little annoying hopeful voice within says how exciting not expecting anything can be. Whooooa, be still, be still.
That's all and sorrynotsorry for rambling.
We give You thanks. (Rev. 11:17)
We give You thanks. (Rev. 11:17)
