random rambles

finally, a quiet moment alone again with my thoughts which are definitely so NOT quiet. my mind is currently on the reading old emails streak and i can't believe i am reading emails from ELEVEN, NO, TWELVE YEARS AGO.

funny how something that is a serious matter to you becomes, well, funny several years hence. couldn't help but laugh out loud at the histrionics in my emails to my friends. now i think i'm sorry i've subjected them to such kaartehan. i think this is some kind of a problem/challenge for people who speak more in writing. i cannot filter anymore what i want to say there, it's like my fingers get a mind of their own and simply fly over the keyboard or possess my pen to create yet another novel-like email/letter. nevertheless, those ancient missives make up for more good writing material and a lot of laughs. lots and lots of laughs. i can't believe i was that stupid then. i'd like to think i've gotten mature over the years but then i'll never grow out of having those stupid moments sometimes.

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just finished red queen by victoria aveyard. i've read a lot of YA novels thanks to my cousin B. and because of that, i cannot help but think that there are a lot of similarities here in red queen with, say, the hunger games and divergent. while red queen is more of a fantastical story set in a dystopian society, i could easily see mare barrow alongside katniss everdeen and tris prior. mare may be poor, but she has a personality that could scathe anyone not strong enough to withstand such. and like katniss and tris, she also has to battle her way in a society that is composed of the bullies (the silverbloods) and the oppressed (the redbloods). a war is at hand and it shows no sign of ending. guess who gets the short end of the stick in this war? kilorn, mare's best friend who was supposed to be able to avoid conscription by having work but is left without one when his master dies. sound familiar? and oh, an underground revolution is brewing amongst the reds. now guess who inadvertently becomes the face of the revolution? should i start on the romantic interests of mare? uh, maybe not now.

but even if my mind screamed hunger games!!! and divergent!!! in almost every chapter of red queen, i would still say that it is a fun read. trust and betrayal are the underlying themes of this story and ms. aveyard was able to manipulate her characters beautifully especially with that of cal and maven. as i got to the final moments in the story the book became harder to put down. my mind moved from hunger games!!! and divergent!!! to kill them already!!! (of course, this is to cal and mare.) however, because it's again a series just like most YA books these days, i would have to wait until my cousin gets her hands on the other books.

i just have one question. do the characters really have to smirk so much? the word sneer comes in as a close second, but it's not as many as smirk. i actually thought of counting how many times it appears in each chapter (it appeared all throughout the book) and in what tense was it written but then again, never mind.

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fangirling over:
jess glynne! still listening and dancing to her songs but more so with hold my hand (which i have currently on "loop" in youtube).
supergirl! i can't believe the season ended before arrow did. i really hope there will be a season 2. while i haven't read anything official about a season 2 for the show, the guys at cbs did say "season finale" and not "series finale" which i think my world will crumble if the latter happened. and the season ending ended with a cliffhanger, so...
arrow! i would say that this fourth season was better than the third one, though not as exciting as the second season (i think this is the best so far). just so heartbroken over laurel... why, oh, why??? i wonder what her haters think of her death now, they were so rabid about getting her kicked out of the show in season 2. i hope the writers make her go into the lazarus pit too, and then she'll get that blood lust and kill damien darhk for oliver. hahaha. there are five more episodes to go and then season 4 ends. please, no more going on hiatus!!!

hihi

logged on to one of my old emails after doing the recovery thing. i was supposed to do something in there but i ended up doing something else, which was to read old email exchanges with friends. i laughed out loud at one such email exchange, where a friend told me that she thought i have published my very first novel, my email to her was THAT long. as a parting shot, she said she'll keep her email short and sweet as she doesn't plan to do a tolkien that day. hahaha!

come to think of it, i did write really long emails to my friends years ago whenever i travelled out of the country. i wonder what they thought of those, cos i just kept rambling and rambling about a lot of things. they must think i am a very trivial person. can't help it though, cos whatever i refrain from talking about out loud, i make up for it by writing long and i mean really long emails/letters/blog posts, no holds barred. i love sending postcards too, but they don't provide enough space for what i have to share so writing long emails/letters/blog posts it is for the most part.

the advent of social media meant lesser personal emails and blog posts, and more micro blogging and sharing others' posts. i must admit that even i fell into the maelstrom that i eventually abandoned blogging for a time. up until 2012 i managed a food and travel blog where i met many like-minded people and who became my friends on facebook; some of them i even met personally. but as aforementioned, blogging took a backseat to the social media platforms i am a member of until such time that i felt the need to blog again, and so this came to be. 

only a handful of my friends know about this blog, and i don't know if they even visit this. i hardly post here anyway and if i do, the posts are way shorter than what i used to write in my old blog. as for emails, i think the last time i wrote one was about four years back but i never got a reply for that. even so i am trying to write as much as i did before. after all, this is like riding a bike, once you learn how to, you cannot unlearn it even if you haven't done it for quite some time. that is why after some drought in here i started again with the sunday currently. again, baby steps. 

who knows, i might be able to bother my friends with long emails/letters again. maybe even with a very detailed blog post or two.

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i am still on my jess glynne streak, so i'll share one of her songs that touched a chord in me. it's definitely different from her happy dance tunes, from the melody down to the message of the song. the video? raw and powerful. there is the official video of the song but i like how this one shot version speaks to the viewers. i also like what jess wrote in her description of this particular video of take me home. i could have written it myself as i've been to that place where she's gone to, in another time, yet in a different situation. in other words, anyone can absolutely relate to this. when you're in the doldrums, you're in the doldrums no matter what circumstance put you in there. we could wallow in despair because of this, but still can choose not to. and whether we believe it or not, there is always somebody out there who will help us out of the mire we've got ourselves into. all we have to do is ask. 

lyrics: Take Me Home

Wrapped up, so consumed by all this hurt
If you ask me, don't know where to start
Anger, love, confusion
Roads that go nowhere
I know that somewhere better
'Cause you always take me there

Came to you with a broken faith
Gave me more than a hand to hold
Caught before I hit the ground
Tell me I'm safe, you've got me now

Would you take the wheel
If I lose control?
If I'm lying here
Will you take me home?

Could you take care of a broken soul?
Will you hold me now?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?

Hold the gun to my head, count 1, 2, 3
If it helps me walk away then it's what I need
Every minute gets easier
The more you talk to me
You rationalize my darkest thoughts
Yeah, you set them free

Came to you with a broken faith
Gave me more than a hand to hold
Caught before I hit the ground
Tell me I'm safe, you've got me now

Would you take the wheel
If I lose control?
If I'm lying here
Will you take me home?

Could you take care of a broken soul?
Oh, will you hold me now?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?

You say space will make it better
And time will make it heal
I won't be lost forever
And soon I wouldn't feel
Like I'm haunted, oh, falling

Would you take the wheel
If I lose control?
If I'm lying here
Will you take me home?

Could you take care of a broken soul?
Oh, will you hold me now?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home, home?
Oh, will you take me home?
Oh, will you take me home?

Hold My Hand - Jess Glynne

another artist has made it to my playlist: jess glynne. i liked her since two years ago when i first heard the song rather be, a collaboration with clean bandit. like two of my favourite artists, jessie j and christina perri, jess glynne also writes her own songs. she has striking vocals which i can't describe more except that it's striking. oh and yes, unique that you'll know right away that it's her singing. i say this because there are some singers who have similar vocals.

this week's LSS (last song syndrome) is jess glynne's hold my hand. funny, i thought that this song was just released this year but in fact it was released early last year. i love the dance beats of this song and so whoever stumbles upon this little blog i hope, nay, command you to hit that play button and enjoy this awesome tune. haha!

Hold My Hand lyrics:

Standing in a crowded room, and I can't see your face
Put your arms around me, tell me everything's OK
In my mind, I'm running round a cold and empty space
Just put your arms around me, tell me everything's OK

Break my bones but you won't see me fall, oh
The rising tide will rise against them all, oh

Darling, hold my hand
Oh, won't you hold my hand?
'Cause I don't wanna walk on my own anymore, won't you understand?
'Cause I don't wanna walk alone
I'm ready for this, there's no denying
I'm ready for this, you stop me falling
I'm ready for this, I need you all in
I'm ready for this, so darling, hold my hand

Soul is like a melting pot when you're not next to me
Tell me that you've got me and you're never gonna leave
Tryna find a moment where I can find release
Please tell me that you've got me and you're never gonna leave

Break my bones but you won't see me fall, oh
The rising tide will rise against them all, oh

Darling, hold my hand
Oh, won't you hold my hand?
'Cause I don't wanna walk on my own anymore, won't you understand?
'Cause I don't wanna walk alone
I'm ready for this, there's no denying
I'm ready for this, you stop me falling
I'm ready for this, I need you all in
I'm ready for this, so darling, hold my hand

Don't wanna know
That feeling when I'm all alone
So please don't make me wait, 'cause I don't wanna break
No, I don't wanna fall
When you're next to me
Can tell I'm not afraid to be
That you don't make me wait, and never let me break
You never let me fall

Darling, hold my hand
Oh, won't you hold my hand?
'Cause I don't wanna walk on my own anymore, won't you understand?
'Cause I don't wanna walk alone
I'm ready for this, there's no denying
I'm ready for this, you stop me falling
I'm ready for this, I need you all in
I'm ready for this, so darling, hold my hand

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and in other news.........

i just have to let this tension out............

whoooooo, so i just got word that our class will have the rated drills this weekend........... whooooo here we go again...................... Lord please help!!!!!!!!!!

i really should be reading up but i've spent the whole day marinating in the heat doing absolutely nothing of value. methinks my brain is already overloaded with information accumulated for the past two years. but why, oh why does it feel like it's the first time? gahhhh