hey

i remember mentioning in a previous post from 2021 how everything from before 2020 felt very much like a dream.

now that everything has gone back to abnormal more or less in the country and the rest of the world, that part of my memory bank that should contain the events from 2020 up to the early part of 2022 is practically blank. it's as if my brain had been automatically putting each day in the bin but without the option of forever deleting them after thirty days. 

rather, each is dug up according to whatever it may trigger it. there is no specific trigger; anything i do on an ordinary day may just cause a memory to pop up. may it be a good or bad one, however, there was always that accompanying underlying fear of any one of us catching the virus and not surviving it. throw in a generous serving of sheer frustration and feeling of stark helplessness into that wretched mix.

guess i really should not imagine how things will be like in a global event. 

i remember reading the twilight series (to my eternal regret) and noting (an even greater regret) that edward almost died in the 1918 pandemic. 

yeah. really should put a rein on my imagination. 

the rest of 2022 thankfully had behaved itself.

now i begin to pick up all the pieces of everything that had been.